I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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