In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
