im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
COCAINE IS GR8
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
