Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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