i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
