He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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