You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
