The maid of honor just puked.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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