your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
