They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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