I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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