Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
