Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When are your genitals available?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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