One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
