I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
