"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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