Sponge bath it is.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
