so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
