Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
