Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
