There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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