I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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