You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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