Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
