don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
