I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
