he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
