You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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