I'm really into asian looking animals
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
