Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
