Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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