Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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