Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
