Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize