Kiss
Puke
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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