I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
