Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
