I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
