i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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