i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
