After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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