Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
