Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
