I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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