You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
