Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it's like heaven, but drunker
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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