i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
