Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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