I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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