Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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