You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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