just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
