so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
