nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She bit a glass in half.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
