I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
