you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
